What
Here it is as requested. Sanctioned CLIQUE upload.
J. Kristopher Huddy was spawned in a test tube at a military laboratory just outside of Fresno, California. He was the product of a top secret government effort to clone superhuman killing machines. However, just months after the creation of "ZSC-08390" (as Huddy was then referred to), the project was scrapped after military brass concluded the fusing together of DNA from Don Knots and that guy who played Klinger on MASH could serve no real purpose against the Solviet threat. Huddy was debriefed and sent on his way with only a suit, a wristwatch and $20 to his name. After blowing the $20 on bogus lottery tickets and pawning the watch for another $20 which was quickly lost on still more lottery tickets, Huddy realized he had a problem... he need more money to throw away on lottery tickets. But instead, he checked himself into the famous Betty Ford Clinic in a desperate attempt to overcome his gambling addiction. One year later, Huddy was clean and sober, though his gambling problem persisted, mainly due to the fact he had unwittingly spent the last year in a substance abuse program. Nevertheless, Huddy had a new lease on life and was determined to make a name for himself. Immediately, he applied for unemployment and tirelessly began watching soap operas. Tragically, when Huddy's lifelong dream of hanging out and doing "whatever" proved fruitless, he decided to devote himself to his second love of designing video games. A year later, his 8-bit opus "Los Disneys," was complete. Though the game earned him no money and little recognition, it did succeed in placing his name high atop the list of people Disney was least likely to employ. He then began work on a new game, Ghetto Blaster. But it was the horrific events of September 11th that put the project on hold. After he was denied admittance into the army after becoming the first person in the history of the U.S. military to be legally declared a coward, Huddy found his patriotic calling in the form of creating a second video game. Originally titled "Sophomore Slump," the new game was later renamed "Blood of Bin Laden." Huddy has since settled down and is currently employed at Utah's third largest fish-hatchery and spends much of his time rewriting Tom Clancy novels in calligraphy, jazzercising and speaking in a thick, albeit fake southern accent.