I don’t even know how to begin reviewing this. It’s got to be the most bizarre Marathon scenario ever made, and that’s going up against some pretty stiff competition. In terms of story it’s unique and innovative; in terms of gameplay it has some pretty serious flaws. In terms of graphics it’s almost a total conversion, since almost everything has a new look except for your weapons, and even those have different functionality.

The scenario has its own website, which is worth checking out, since it showcases some of the zany graphics and dark humor the scenario has to offer: https://huddycreative.com/archives/HQImages/websites/losdisneys/download.html

Level 1: Los Disneys The story is that in the future (year 2015) the tyrannical Disney Corporation has bought the state of Florida and renamed it “Los Disneys.” From there they are plotting to conquer the world, and it’s your mission to infiltrate their theme park to stop them. One part of your initial briefing concerns collateral damage, where you’re told to “spare the tourists as you would any other civilians, but if you just can’t help it, (expletive) the tourists.” So yeah, there is a definite theme of dark humor for this scenario. It’s not for everyone but I liked it. The terminal art was notable for featuring a great dichotomy between wholesome family-friendly Disney characters and more ominous pictures of heavily armed totalitarian thugs with Disney flair as part of their uniforms.

Unfortunately, the initial terminal and a few other textures had a graphical glitch in which part of the texture was unfilled/blurry. I’m not sure if this was part of the original Los Disneys or a consequence of it being ported to a later version of Aleph One. Aside from that, however, the initial presentation of the theme park was impressive. There were tourists walking around and taking pictures, numerous famous attractions were depicted, and the ambient sound was appropriate for a crowded amusement park.

You start out with only a pistol and a small amount of ammo, so your first priority is to raid an ammo bunker used by corporate security. Unfortunately, the initial terminal actually gives you wrong directions for how to get there! You’re told to go down Main Street and turn left; actually you need to turn right. Going left will probably have fatal consequences, and be doubly frustrating because there are no save terminals until midway through the map, so you’ll likely be kicked back to the beginning after dying on the left-most route. In any case, there are a number of Disney characters (that are actually robots) that will turn hostile once you enter their area in the theme park. The graphics for these baddies depicts them as innocent-looking until they attack or take damage, at which point their true evil nature will become obvious. So I thought that was some pretty cool artistic license.

Once you have guns and ammo, your next objective is to explore the two “ears” of the park, which is shaped like Mickey Mouse’s head on your auto-map. The eastern ear has a neat part entitled “Leap of Faith,” in which you have to find a way to get across a seemingly uncrossable pit. I thought that was clever. You’ll also start coming up against Disney corporate security and explosive Michael Eisner clones. The combat in Los Disneys is actually pretty difficult; security guards can shoot highly damaging homing rockets, and most of the other enemies are quite dangerous as well. I played on Normal difficulty and died quite a few times. However, some difficult fights were made easy because bad guys often killed themselves or their allies with their own explosive attacks. Also, sometimes the enemies did not trigger correctly or got stuck on the terrain, allowing the player to mow them down with impunity. Overall, I thought the combat was fun, and there was a large variety of enemies to fight.

The tougher combat is somewhat mitigated by the fact that some of your weapons have been improved. For example, your SMG now carries a lot more ammo per magazine, and your fusion pistol also gets a lot more shots per battery. But be warned that the alternate fire for the fusion pistol is broken, and it will break your game if you try to use it, requiring you to restart from your last save!

The western “ear” of the park was the most frustrating part of the entire scenario for me. Basically, you need to find a switch to move forward, but it’s hidden behind a secret door that’s really hard to find. Yes, there is a hint in the initial terminal that you should keep an eye out for secret doors, and yes I did look for secret doors (but found nothing). Eventually I had to quit out of the game and open the level editor to look at the map to see what I was missing.

Level 2: Los Apocalypse This level is basically the first level, except it’s now in a state of ruin because of your actions. The ground will be shaking, lava flows will suddenly emerge to engulf the unwary, and the ambient sounds are simply superb, as you hear the panicked cries of tourists and as well as loudspeaker announcements depicting Disney trying to restore order as an apocalypse unfolds. I loved it!

However, the difficult firefights and constant lava baths necessitated many visits to the level’s only shield recharger, which became a bit tedious since it was in an out of the way location.

Level 3: Epilogue This was a very short level designed to wrap up the story. I won’t spoil anything here, except to say that the ending was both zany and unexpected. I loved the terminal art. Overall, Los Disneys was a fun scenario worth playing for the novelty factor alone. It does have some rough edges, but the humor, ambient sounds, and cool graphics make it stand out.